Sex Dream
What part of lying still
left room for missing you? I missed the floor,
I missed letting the shower hit my stomach 
without consequence. Then
I missed the nurse.

I did not miss violence, not passion.
I still had those, if hidden.

Never longed for a moment to last.
Never thought of the night
your hand
brought out the wet proof of my own life.

I was for the first time neutral,
the only angel of wait,
all the weeks one page
I was graceful at turning. Will you ever open me 
the old way and not be wrecked,
I did not expect to ever ask you.

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