Merkin Karr I don't really like how you pronounce my name wrong (Compassions V)

The insomnia came back suddenly

like the credit card charge after

the 30 day trial. And I had so many

questions. Like maybe it was just

eleven days of frothy white dreams.

but they were bliss wrapped up in

chocolate coated pink pills. But

nothing lasts forever. The sunset

sky ends to bring a hooded

cape. bedazzled with hopes

and dreams designed to look

like stars. Frowns often find

themselves on the flip side

and I wonder if happiness

makes them feel down.

Like how manic makes me feel

high and sometimes I just want

to be depressed. Because silence

at least never asks you to leave.

sometimes I like the darkness. It's slow.

and I feel like molasses dripping

on buttered biscuits. Like maybe it'll

be worth it or mean something.

line after line tries to grasp the words.

Trying to own them. But you can't own the

chaos inside your head. Its impossible.

Its wind in a tin can or spray cheese

at a fancy party. But I lay here examining

my finger nails as if the answers lay

beneath their unkept beds. But no

answers ever come from tucked in

covers and properly puffed up pillows.

They come at 3 am when the world

is asleep and your eyes are tired

but your body mistakes the darkness for day.

Yes the answers come when you're barely okay.


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